My mother actually saw me doing this, she like saw me running to the bathroom and she managed to open the door just before I locked it. I don't know if I was really gonna do it or if I was just kinda hoping that she would come in, but she came to the bathroom and, but we talked, we had a really good close relationship because she was pretty much the only friend I had. She took me to UMDNJ that same night, but they put me on medication and I just felt numb most of the time and I actually almost preferred feeling depressed than feeling numb. It just felt like I was going through my days and like everything was pretty much blurry, nothing was happening. I just decided to stop taking it and I didn't tell my parents about it. I didn't tell my mom, just stopped taking it and I just tried like to, every time I caught myself feeling sad and depressed I just try to like go do something else, like I turn into art, like art, painting and photography. It kinda helped me like put my emotions out there without having to really explain them in words and I think a lot of people who look to find relationships to help them improve their life, I think you have to fix yourself before you can actually find someone that you can be happy with. I have actually gotten into a relationship recently and I've been pretty happy. My boyfriend right now is a really good guy and he doesn't have a lot of issues, that I don't have to try to fix him and he doesn't try to fix me and we kind of accept each other and it works out that way.