Depression and Thoughts of Suicide: Deborah's Story - Episode 1
Having moved around a lot as a child, Deborah often found it hard to have stability in her young life. When she moved to the U.S. she sought acceptance in the form of relationships. Little did she know that was the beginning of a tumultuous time that would fuel her deepest insecurities.
My name is Deborah. I am 24. I started having depression problems when I moved, I moved around a lot when I was little. I really was having a really hard time making friends, pretty much kept to myself most of the time. When I was 16 my mom decided to move to the U.S. and the depression kind of started hitting me a lot harder. At that point I used to be a very, very like, I don't know how you say it, like introvert, and never wanted to have anything to do with boys and then when I first moved here, that's the first thing I wanted to do, I just wanted to explore and I kind of went into a little bit of a sexual adventure and decided to just sleep around.
I started dating this guy and pretty much that was a very bad relationship, very emotionally abusive relationship and I kinda let myself stay in that relationship because I did not really have any value for myself and that kinda made me even more depressed. I had a lot of suicidal thoughts, you know, just not having any friends and just - the only person in my life at that time was my boyfriend and he wasn't very helpful. So, when I thought he was cheating I decided to drink a couple of bottles of wine and go into the bathtub with a pair of scissors.